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how are you? i miss you

Hey! You are my dream come…nah, I won’t finish it.

Iā€™m getting more and more vulnerable each time spent alone with you. I melt every time our eyes meet.

yung feeling na sampal sa’yo na hindi talaga kayo pwede. kahit sinasabi mong nasa kanya na ung mga bagay na hinahanap mo, pero wala pa rin. shit talaga, ganyan ka bang katigas?Ā 

Parang humihina ata ulit ung puso ko, literally and figuratively. Literally, kasi madali akong mapagod ang hingalin lately. Figuratively, kasi sinabi kong hindi ako pwede ma-inlove pero parang may nagugustuhan ako. Kailangan ko ata ulit magpalakas, literally and figuratively.

I kept on asking for a sign, but then I realized that there’s nothing to hope for. I shouldn’t bother anyway.

How? Tell me, how?? šŸ˜”

How? Tell me, how?? šŸ˜”

I had a dream. I just posted a part of the last memo I wrote in my phone on Tumblr. Then I had 1024 notes on it. Then I tried to read all of the responses and I saw some unexpected advices from people around me. Then I looked for your response but I was not able to read it because the professors came for further announcements of the practicum.

One of the professors gave me a small notebook where all the expenses made by the students and other matters were written. She told me to keep it. It’s confidential. I feel so honored to have her trust. Then we all came out for a run. When we returned, I checked my bag and found out that the notebook was stolen. I was crying. You wanted to comfort me but you didn’t come close because you saw that a lot of people were there surrounded me. When you found a space, you comforted me. That’s the best part.

Then, I knew that my groupmate had a secret agenda that she had to steal that notebook from me but she suddenly told the truth. Then I just returned the notebook to our professor. I didn’t want the responsibility. I felt like I was too careless.

To make me feel better, my mom bought me Ben & Jerry’s ice cream in the nearest grocery. I had a dilemma if I shall choose cherry or mango.

Then I woke up. My eyes hurt. It felt like I cried all night. This dream is so vivid.

I want to be the friend you fall hopelessly in love with. The one you take into your arms and into your bed and into the private world you keep trapped in your head. I want to be that kind of friend, the one who will memorize the things you say as well as the shape of your lips when you say them. I want to know every curve, every freckle, every shiver of your body.

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